


Healing

by RaceyBoi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-30 02:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15086915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaceyBoi/pseuds/RaceyBoi
Summary: A drabble about how Bruce and Thor help each other heal from their recent traumas.





	Healing

They both had their fair share of pain and loss, trauma and grief. It weighed on them in different ways. Their actions were dictated by their coping mechanisms and their coping mechanisms dictated by their history. It was a cycle they were hoping to break. A cycle they were hoping to heal.

For Bruce, it came in waves. Lapses of anxiety and depression mingled with repressed childhood memories. On some days he couldn’t lift his head. Sometimes he wished he didn’t have one to try to lift at all. On other days he couldn’t stop his hands. They worked fast in the lab, speeding their way through project after project in an attempt to drown out a series of “what if”s. 

He often wondered how things could have been. There were so many possibilities if he didn’t save that man, if Betty’s father wasn’t the general, if he didn’t land the internship that flourished into his dream job. Those thoughts eventually lead to his parents and the life he could have had if his mother survived-- they almost ran away together-- or if his father never used himself as a lab rat, twisting his own genes in the amiable name of science. If Bruce Banner was never born. The list of scenarios went on and on. The butterfly effect wrapped itself around his head, hypotheticals squeezing at his brain as wings of silk blinded him. He needed a constant distraction to stop all of the possibilities and unknown lives from overwhelming him. There were simply too many factors.

For Thor, it came in the spur of the moment. Anxiety and undiagnosed ptsd wormed its way into his new memories and the sky poured a few times during combat. He wanted to protect everyone. The battle field use to be a place he could unleash energy, a place he strived as a mighty warrior. Now it was filled with the blood of his people, the bones of his family, and the remains of his home. He hoped the lost lives still managed to find their way to Valhalla without a proper funeral.

Thor use to calculate cause and effect but now he was so hasty to throw himself into the fire to protect the only people he has left. Because that’s what heroes do, of course. He holds his strength like a mask to cover the grief. To suppress the memories of those he never had time to mourn. As long as he pretend to be fine, he could keep going. As long as he pretended to be strong, he could suppress the memories and dreams eating away at the back of his head.

On Bruce’s down days, Thor will creak open the blinds to let in a little bit of light. He read something once about how Midgard’s sun increases serotonin. When Bruce allows him he’ll cuddle real close or play with Bruce’s hair as the smaller man lays his head on his lap. They might not talk much because Bruce truly doesn’t have enough energy to mumble but Thor is a remarkable story teller. He invents characters with defined personalities but no names, outlandish worlds filled with daring feats and they always have a happy ending. 

On Bruce’s manic weeks, he’ll periodically bring food and water to him. He even sits in the lab. It isn’t possible to stop Bruce from working away the day, so instead Thor just makes sure to be there for him. He carries him to bed at night.

Before battle Bruce reminds Thor to be careful. He tells him to come home. He tells him he’s more than his fights. It’s became routine for Bruce to tell him another reason he loves him before every mission. Thor is a powerful warrior, but he’s always been more than his physical strength. He’s loyal, compassionate, generous, tenacious. He’s reliable, curious, funny, and kind. Most importantly though, he’s Bruce’s. And Bruce is his.

“You’re brilliant on and off the field.” he often said, sealing their pre-fight ritual with a kiss.

Away from battle, Bruce reminds him to breath and speak. He helps him stay connected to his homeland.

“Tell me about Heimdall.” he’ll say.

Thor will. He’ll reminisce with a smile of the memories they use to share and the places they use to go. He’ll go on for hours about his best friend; the mischief they got in, the laughs they had, and how they’d sneak away from the castle as teenagers before Heimdall was gifted with such responsibility. He’ll paint pictures with his words, mold the spaces of Bruce’s mind into a glorious image.

Before he could remember, though, he had to stop trying to forget. Bruce told him that none of his tragedies were his fault and there was no way for him to know of what to come. Still, Thor insisted that it didn’t matter. He should have been able to protect them. They spent many nights working through Thor’s grief and survivor’s guilt as Bruce held him in his arms. 

No matter what kind of day lived and died, they always held each other close as the sun kissed the horizon. Told each other how much they mean to one another. How amazing they are, how strong, how inspirational. Bruce and Thor definitely had their fair share of pain and loss, trauma and grief, but they also had each other. 

That’s all they’ll ever need.


End file.
